| Why White Guys Become Rappers: Explained Posted: 10 May 2009 06:00 PM PDT Male NYU undergrad #1: Man, you know...some guys, they have a 40 in one hand and a chick's breast in the other.
Male NYU undergrad #2: Oh, man, that's the life.
Male NYU undergrad #1: Yeah, I gotta figure out how to do it.
--Washington Place & Mercer |
| ...They Were Christians Posted: 10 May 2009 04:00 PM PDT Professor: Martin Luther King, Jr had women in his hotel room. He was running around on Coretta.
Student: Maybe, they were studying the bible.
(class laughs)
Professor: Well, she may have been calling out Jesus's name. But they sure as hell weren't reading the bible.
Slow girl, five minutes later: Oh, I get it. Ew!
--Baruch College
Overheard by: kteezy |
| And I Did Promise to Stop Being a Weirdo Posted: 10 May 2009 02:00 PM PDT Crazy, loud hobo on train, repeating: "Jesus" is a six letter word! "666" means the devil! So, Jesus is the devil!
Fed-up passenger: Hey asshole, "Jesus" is 5 letters, not six!
Crazy hobo, pensive: Well, shit, there goes my whole argument.
--5 Train |
| If You Watch Willy Wonka: The E! True Hollywood Story Posted: 10 May 2009 12:00 PM PDT Man #1: There were thousands of them.
Man #2: Thousands of what?
Man #1: Thousands of unemployed midgets.
--Astor Place
Overheard by: Pamela |
| Who Says Keeping Up with the Kardashians Doesn't Have a Moral? Posted: 10 May 2009 10:00 AM PDT Teen to friend: With big asses come big responsibilities.
Friend: True, true.
--Grand Concourse
Overheard by: Lia |
| ...Which Makes the Bloody Tampons Even More Disturbing Posted: 10 May 2009 08:00 AM PDT Person #1: Hey, remember that Brazilian au pair I told you about?
Person #2: Yes?
Person #1: Turns out it was a guy.
--E Train |
| The Israeli Peace Talks Should All Be Topless Posted: 10 May 2009 06:00 AM PDT Hispanic woman: Thank god for big titties!
Older black woman: (mumbles)
Hispanic woman: Shit. (pause) I know, right? They help!
--4 Train
Overheard by: ReppinDa215 |
| Now How I'd Deal with My Thesis Advisor, But Whatever. Posted: 10 May 2009 04:00 AM PDT Frat boy #1: If he kills me, I will kill him!
Frat boy #2: Oh, that makes a lot of sense.
--NYU Bus
Overheard by: ihatevegs |
| I Was Supposed to Make Dessert! Posted: 10 May 2009 02:00 AM PDT Tween thug #1: Yo, Beth Israel hospital. You gotta be a Jew to go there? Haha!
Tween thug #2, somberly: No. My grandmother was in there.
Tween thug #1: Oh. I'm sorry... Shit! Look, that's where we got arrested! They cuffed me on that corner!
Tween thug #2: Yo, what time is it?
Tween thug #1: 5:11. (pause) Oh damn, my momma told me I had to be home at 5! She gonna kill me.
--B82 Bus |
| That's the Sweetest Thing You've Ever Said to Me Posted: 10 May 2009 12:00 AM PDT Guy #1: Your jeans are ripped.
Guy #2: Your ass is ripped.
--West Village
Overheard by: Mike |
| Are You Asking Me for a Kiss? Posted: 09 May 2009 10:00 PM PDT Girl #1: Ugh, Adam Lambert is soooo hot, it's too bad he's gay.
Girl #2: Just because he kisses other guys doesn't mean he's gay.
Girl #1: Um, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it means. Now, come on, I feel like a slurpie or something.
--59th & 5th |
| That Would Be the Obvious Answer, Yeah. Posted: 09 May 2009 08:00 PM PDT Girlfriend to boyfriend, while eating ice cream: You know what I love?
Boyfriend to girlfriend: To lick my balls?
--Jay St & Lawrence St
Overheard by: blushing beauty |
| A Gospel Song That's Unlikely to Replace "Gather by the River" Posted: 09 May 2009 06:00 PM PDT Guy: Please give me a quickie...maybe in the bathroom?
Girl: You just bought me coffee...let me finish it first.
Guy: The coffee can't wait?
Girl: It's a hell of a lot better than a quickie in the bathroom.
--Mimi's Cafe, Church & Chambers |
| I Heart NY. Now More Than Ever. Posted: 09 May 2009 04:00 PM PDT Young woman: Do you need help crossing the street?
Elderly woman: No. It's fucking red.
--96th & Broadway
Overheard by: Meghan |
| Frankly, I Don't Give a Dam. Posted: 09 May 2009 02:00 PM PDT Girl drafting floor plan: I've decided I'm going to open a funeral parlor that's sleek, modern and sophisticated. Someplace that doesn't look like your grandma just died there.
Female British classmate: That's awesome. My big idea is to start a protection service for lesbians.
Girl drafting floor plan: Like, security?
Female British classmate: No. Like, safe sex?
--Interior Design Class, FIT |
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